Michelle Obama’s speech on the opening night of the Democratic National Convention has been widely praised. From her personal and emotional speaking style to her mastery of the intimate speaking setting, the speech has been rightly lauded.

But for business leaders, in particular, there were 13 sentences in that speech that haven’t gotten as much attention. And those sentences deliver a vital lesson that every leader needs to hear right now. Here are those sentences:

“Empathy, that’s something I’ve been thinking a lot about lately, the ability to walk in someone else’s shoes, the recognition that someone else’s experience has value, too. Most of us practice this without a second thought. If we see someone suffering or struggling, we don’t stand in judgement. We reach out because “There, but for the grace of God, go I.” It is not a hard concept to grasp. It’s what we teach our children. And like so many of you, Barack and I have tried our best to instill in our girls a strong moral foundation to carry forward the values that our parents and grandparents poured into us. But right now, kids in this country are seeing what happens when we stop requiring empathy of one another. They’re looking around wondering if we’ve been lying to them this whole time about who we are and what we truly value. They see people shouting in grocery stores, unwilling to wear a mask to keep us all safe. They see people calling the police on folks minding their own business just because of the color of their skin. They see an entitlement that says only certain people belong here, that greed is good and winning is everything, because as long as you come out on top, it doesn’t matter what happens to everyone else. And they see what happens when that lack of empathy is ginned up into outright disdain.”

Her speech delivered a textbook definition of empathy; it’s seeing the world, or a particular situation, from another person’s viewpoint. Atticus Finch, the moral guide and conscience in Harper Lee’s novel To Kill a Mockingbird, sets this as a key life lesson for his daughter when he tells her, “You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view . . . until you climb into his skin and walk around in it.”

George Herbert Mead, the great American philosopher, said it’s “the capacity to take the role of the other and to adopt alternative perspectives vis-à-vis oneself.” In short, can you put yourself in another person’s mind and see the world as they do?

As Michelle Obama notes, empathy is something that we (ideally) teach our kids. But getting both kids and adults to practice empathy effectively is much easier said than done. And I’ve got some data to prove it.

Across the thousands of people who’ve taken the free online test “Do You Know How To Listen With Empathy?” about a third of respondents failed pretty badly. And only about 20% of people achieved perfect scores.

In the study The Risks Of Ignoring Employee Feedback, we discovered that most leaders are doing a poor job of listening. For example, we found that only 23% of people say that when they share their work problems with their leader, he/she Always responds constructively. By contrast, 17% say their leader Never responds constructively. And if someone says their leader Always responds constructively when they share their work problems, they’re about 12 times more likely to recommend the company as a great employer.

As I recently wrote on Forbes, new data shows that not only has employee mental health suffered during the pandemic, but that employees are afraid to discuss their declining mental health with their bosses. More than half of people (54%) said they felt uncomfortable talking to their managers and supervisors about mental health. And 30% of people feared that discussing their mental health could lead to being fired or furloughed, and 29% thought discussing their issues could cost them a promotion.

So how can leaders more effectively practice empathy? Simple. When your employees share their problems or concerns, confirm that you heard what they just said and corroborate that you understood them correctly.

This is really as simple as following this three-step process:

  • Step 1: Say “I want to make sure I really understand what you’re saying.”
  • Step 2: Restate what you heard them say.
  • Step 3: Say “Did I get that right?”

We haven’t successfully empathized with someone until the other person says, “yes, you got it right.” And if they say, “no, that’s wrong” or “you completely missed the point,” then we need to say, “I’m sorry I got it wrong, would you share again, because I really want to understand your perspective?”

Michelle Obama is correct that empathy is not a hard concept to grasp. But we could all use a bit more practice to empathize effectively.